Marriage is going to take work over the course of the years. There are marriages that are great for the first few years only to see a couple drift apart over time. For this reason you need to keep working on your relationship as a focus. If you are not a stronger couple than you were 5 years ago then this is a warning sign. Communication is always going to be paramount as bottling up emotions can lead to end of marriage fights. Being able to speak calmly when you are bothered by something is essential. Compromise is a part of all relationships and one or both people in a marriage being unwilling to compromise is a recipe for disaster. The following are tips to handling a failing marriage when you have children together.
Seek Marriage Counseling
There could be issues that you are not willing to talk about or do not know exist. Seeing a licensed marriage therapist can save a marriage that is seemingly failing. This will force you to confront the issues that are bothering both of you. You might see that you are both at fault and the resentment growing is for petty reasons. There is a chance that the therapist recommends divorce as not everyone is willing to work on their relationship. Unwillingness to go to therapy is a sign that the marriage is doomed as no effort put into a failing marriage will surely result in it ending.
Do Not Fight in Front of the Children
Marriages that are going down the drain often times have intense arguments where things that are said that cannot be taken back. Domestic violence by either you or your spouse is inexcusable. If you are falsely accused you need to consult a defense attorney. The last thing you want is a false accusation to cost you custody of your children due to a manipulative ex. You should go into an isolated part of the home if you are having a discussion that you think will get out of hand. Fighting in front of the children makes them feel like the problems you are having as a couple are somehow their fault.
Divorce is an Option
The truth is divorce is an option as a marriage might not be able to be repaired. This could be due to violence or emotional abuse by one or both parties in the relationship. Controlling behavior by isolating a person is commonly done as the abusive party doesn’t want to be found out by their spouse’s loved ones. Divorce does not have to be ugly especially when you and your spouse are both extremely unhappy. Children understand when there is constant tension in a home so do not allow them to live with this for years. The largest dispute is often the custody of the children which can be mediated by professionals.
Working on your marriage is one option but there are marriages are cannot be repaired. Children will complicate this process as there is no such thing as a clean divorce with children. Make sure the best interest of the children are kept in mind when it comes to custody and visitation agreements.